Six smart ways to shield your kids from cyberbullies (without taking their phones)

Cyberbullying doesn’t leave bruises, but it can really hurt. And it’s more common than many parents realize. A Pew study found that nearly 6 in 10 kids ages 13–17 have experienced cyberbullying. 

Even younger kids aren’t spared: surveys show kids as young as six have been targeted online.

That’s scary. But here’s the good news: there’s a lot you can do to protect your kids, and none of it requires going full phone-confiscation mode.

Let’s break it down.

First: What is cyberbullying, really?

Not every online disagreement is cyberbullying. Kids argue. Jokes get misunderstood. Texts land wrong. Sometimes harm isn’t intentional.

Cyberbullying crosses the line when behavior is hurtful, repeated, or threatening. It can look like:

• Mean or threatening texts, DMs, or emails

• Harassment through nonstop messages

• Cruel comments on social media

• Gossip or rumor-spreading online

• Targeting someone repeatedly in online games

• Fake profiles used to impersonate someone

• Sharing photos or videos without consent

Warning signs your kids might be getting bullied online

Many kids don’t speak up — out of embarrassment, fear, or worry that you’ll take their tech away. Instead, watch for changes like:

• Strong emotional reactions while online

• Hiding screens or refusing to share devices

• Pulling away from friends or family

• Sudden mood or behavior changes

• Drops in grades or focus

• Deleting social media accounts out of nowhere

If something feels off, trust your gut.

6 ways to lower the risk of cyberbullying

1. Talk early, and keep talking

Before your kids even get a phone, explain what cyberbullying looks like and make one thing clear: it’s never their fault. Promise they won’t get in trouble for telling you. Missed this conversation? No problem — it’s never too late.

2. Stay involved with younger kids’ online lives

For younger kids, checking accounts, usernames, and passwords is reasonable. Let them know upfront that monitoring is part of having online access.

3. Don’t spy on your teens

Secret monitoring breaks trust. Instead, let your teens know you’re going to follow them online. Set boundaries around what you’ll comment on or share. Respect their input, share why they’ll be safer this way, and keep communication open.

4. Set clear screen rules

Shared family rules help everyone. Younger kids should use devices in common spaces. Nighttime screen limits — and even Wi-Fi shutoffs — can reduce risk and drama.

5. Teach smart online safety

Help your kids understand why private accounts matter, why personal info shouldn’t be shared, and why not every invite deserves a yes.

6. Teach them to be allies

If your kids see cyberbullying, they shouldn’t pile on or respond in anger. Encourage them to report it, save evidence, and come to a trusted adult.

If your kids are being cyberbullied

Start here:

• Stay calm. Let them know they did the right thing by telling you.

• Make a plan together. Some kids want to try handling it themselves, with your support nearby.

• Loop in the school if classmates are involved. Screenshot evidence and reach out to a counselor or administrator.

• Know when to escalate. If there are physical threats, stalking, hate crimes, or sexually explicit content, it’s time to involve law enforcement.

When you need extra backup

You don’t have to handle this alone. A Brightline therapist can help your kids —  and you — navigate cyberbullying with confidence and care. There are also child- and teen-safe support resources available if your kids need someone else to talk to.