Keeping your child safe and supported through the holidays

For many families, the holiday season becomes one huge exercise in logistics and planning. You map out the menu, the travel, and the schedule. This year, add one more item: a check-in on how your child is doing, and a plan for what you’ll do if the answer is “not great.”

It can be tough to think about the harder topics, including suicide, in a season meant for joy. It can also be an important way to be there for your child at a tough time of year. The holidays can stir up big feelings for kids, and knowing what behaviors to look out for, how to talk to your child about negative feelings, and what to do next helps parents feel steady. This guide walks through each step.

Do the holidays raise the risk of suicide?

It’s a common belief that the holidays are the hardest time of year, and the research tells a more mixed story. A large international study published in The BMJ in 2024 found that suicide risk rose on New Year’s Day in most countries, while Christmas Day showed a mixed pattern that varied by country. The study covered all ages, so it can’t tell us how the holidays affect kids and teens specifically.

What it does support is staying aware and keeping your supports in place through the whole break and when school starts back up. And the signs below are worth acting on any time of year.

What to watch for

Kids and teens show distress in different ways, and younger children often show it through changes in behavior more than words. Signs worth paying attention to include:

• Major changes in behavior, mood, or energy

• Pulling away from friends, family, or activities they usually enjoy

• More irritability or anger than usual

• Sleeping much more or much less

• Giving away things they care about

• Saying things that suggest hopelessness, like feeling stuck, feeling like a burden, or that life has no point

• Talking about death or about not wanting to be here

One sign on its own doesn’t mean your child is thinking about suicide. Keep an eye out for a pattern of unusual behavior from your child, and also trust your gut. It doesn’t hurt to bring up the topic and have a conversation. During the holidays, a child who is quieter than usual, or who is facing a hard stretch like a loved one’s absence, family tension, or a packed travel schedule, may need an extra check-in.

Ask directly

If you’re worried, ask. Many parents fear that bringing up suicide will plant the idea, but research shows the opposite. Honest, caring questions are more likely to help a child feel connected than to cause harm. And kids don’t always say it on their own. The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that in one study, nearly half of the parents whose teens were thinking about suicide didn’t know it. Asking is often how we learn that our kids need help.

Choose a private, unhurried moment, like a drive or a walk, and start with love.

For teens, try: “I care about you so much, and I’ve noticed you seem to be hurting lately. Sometimes when people hurt this much, they think about suicide. Does that ever cross your mind?”

For younger kids, be just as direct, in words that fit their age: “Sometimes when kids feel very sad or worried, they wish they weren’t alive anymore. Do you ever wish that?” If they mention death or dying, ask: “What does that mean to you?” Younger children may not yet understand that death is permanent, and the words can mean something different to them than they do to adults. 

Expect some discomfort. Stay calm, listen without arguing or fixing, and thank your child for telling you. Most importantly, take what they say seriously.

If your child says yes

Tell your child you love them, you’re glad that they told you, and that you’ll get them help. Then gather a little more information, gently and calmly:

• How often do the thoughts come up?

• Do they pass, or are they constant and hard to stop?

• Does it feel like something you might do?

• Do you have a plan?

• Do you have access to what you’d need to carry it out?

Take every answer seriously, every time. The answers help decide how quickly to act.

Get help right now if there’s a plan, if the thoughts won’t stop, or if it feels like something your child would do. Call or text 988, or go to the nearest emergency room. If your child is in immediate danger, or you aren’t sure you can get them there safely, call 911.

Reach out to your pediatrician or a mental health professional if the thoughts came up once, with no plan and no intent. Stay close to your child in the meantime. You can call or text 988 at any time, even when you’re unsure how urgent it is.

Cope ahead with a safety plan

The best preparation is a plan you make before the hard moment. If your child already has a safety plan, the holidays are a good time to revisit it together. If they don’t, a pediatrician or mental health provider can help you build one. And if you can’t get in right away, or your appointment is a little way off, you can start with this safety plan template at home and bring it with you.

Think through where the season might be hard, such as travel, a loved one’s absence, family tension, or a full calendar. Talk about what you’ll do if those moments stir up difficult thoughts, and how the plan will work at Grandma’s house or in a hotel. Make it a team effort, so your child knows you’re in it together.

Treat the plan as a living document. If something on it didn’t help in the moment, that doesn’t mean the whole plan failed. Swap that part out. If you notice a new warning sign or a new trigger, add it. Make changes together, or along with the provider who helped create the plan.

Make your home, and the homes you visit, safer

One of the most protective steps a family can take is limiting easy access to anything a child could use to hurt themselves. That includes:

• Locking up all medications, including over-the-counter ones

• Storing firearms locked and unloaded, with ammunition locked in a separate place

• Locking up sharp objects, and anything else your child has mentioned thinking about using

• Keeping the location of keys and combinations private

If you’re traveling or staying with relatives, ask where medications and firearms are kept, and ask your hosts to secure them. Holiday guests often bring extra medications along, which makes this a good time to check.

Depending on what your child is thinking about, their clinician may also recommend a supervision plan, which means a trusted adult stays nearby and can check in quickly, including at gatherings.

Who to call

• 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org, any time of day or night.

• 911: For immediate danger.

• Your child’s pediatrician: For next-day support and help creating a safety plan.

• Your child’s clinician: If your child is already in care, let them know about any change as soon as you can.

Connection and support make a difference

You don’t need to have the perfect words. Showing up, asking, and staying close tell your child they’re not alone, and that’s what they need most. The steps in this guide are ones any family can take.

If you’re wondering whether your child could use more support this season, that’s enough reason to reach out to Brightline. You don’t need to have all the answers first. Let’s talk.